Oddbean

Plebs, I took some time off from Nostr, unsure of how much time I’ll really spend here, as I'm still navigating the depths of grief. However, I'm here, seeking solace in the hope that connecting might stir some emotions—be it a glimmer of happiness, a touch of hope, or a moment of peace—as I've been engulfed in a profound numbness. This year did not start easy for me. My most loyal companion passed away, embarking on her next journey, but I am still here on this Earth feeling completely devastated and heart broken while trying to tell myself she is in a better place with no pain. Every morning I wake up and still look to where she would sleep just hoping that this was all a nightmare and she will be there looking at me with her big eyes, patiently waiting for me to roll out of bed and make us breakfast. Every time I return home I can still feel her excitement when she sees it’s me opening the door and every shower I take, I see the spot where she would patiently wait. Every night I find myself still asking her if she is ready to “night night”. She was the epitome of beauty and perfection. She NEVER went to the bathroom in the house, NEVER bit anyone or any other animal, NEVER barked at any one, and she NEVER chewed shoes or anything in the house, literally PERFECT. She traveled with me around the world, my parter, my best friend, my heart. She was always happy to share her food, water, and toys with every dog she encountered. She allowed everyone to pet her, she was so patient and her kindness was endless, she was just 100% pure love. I've experienced losses among friends and family, but this loss has by far been the hardest in my life. I suppose we all understand that humans, even our grandparents at one point were not “perfect” and they were for the most part in control of their own lives, so it’s easier to accept this because they lived how they wanted and they had a voice. But saying goodbye to your dog that was actually perfect in every way, showed her gratitude and loyalty everyday, spoke only the language of happiness and love, all while never doing anything wrong, it’s hard to say goodbye. Hard to find happiness outside of her because it feels there is nothing as pure as her little soul. She was, and forever will be, my entire heart. 🕯️🫂🙏🐾💜🪽 https://image.nostr.build/844a3324adb1dad93648f5bc82d960b78d391dd36d905e99174437cc5670c238.jpg https://image.nostr.build/21fc7abad577e8de96f71f17452b8e61154c8d8064e2c080d1629984d03495b1.jpg

😭🫂🐾🪽 I’m sorry you have also lived through this kind of pain, but I’m also happy for you that you have also experienced such a level of love. We are so blessed to have had such a pure loving connection with souls like theirs 🫂💜

😭😭 Price of love. I don't think think you can have one without the other and if so would it be the same? Can't claim that based on my experience at least. But now I know the price so it is time to get ready and find it again 😭😭🫂🫂💜. Hope you will recover from the shock soon and will start feeling at least somewhat better 🫂🫂🫂

😭😭😭 Oy a few months ago, God bless your heart, I am so sorry you know this empty pain. 13 years sounds like it was a good life 🫂🐾💜 My girl got me through some of my darkest moments as an adult and there were times that she was literally the reason I wanted to wake up in the morning - just to see her cute face and cuddle. Saying goodbye to this furry angel was the hardest goodbye I’ve ever experienced. 🐾💜🪽

So sorry for your loss. I have a much younger pooch that I feel that way about already, and I often think how much pain it will be to lose her one day. I guess this confirms it; it's going to suck bigtime. 😢 It's crazy how human connections can be so much weaker than our connection to our furbabies. Their love is so simple and pure, always present. They never get too tired or in a bad mood to show you how much they love you. What a gift they are.

🫂 Enjoy every second. I walked my girl day and night, rain or shine, but I wish I had just sat in the grass with her more or chilled on the beach a few more times vs going to a musical or some dumb dinner at a restaurant that did not allow dogs. Every second with her was just so much better than anything else. Like you said they have a love that is so pure, they don’t care how much money you have or don’t have, how pretty you are, how smart you are, nothing they just want to love your soul. They don’t get mad when you tell them no more snack, they are always there for you and beyond excited to see you 24/7 😭🙏🫂🪽 They are the best teachers and the most amazing gift 💝

Surviving a pet means being confronted with the harsh possibility that there is no logic or fairness in the universe, just a cold and indifferent void in which our feelings and actions have no bearing whatsoever. Nothing helps except sleep. REM sleep in particular is needed so avoid alcohol especially during periods of peak grief since it interferes with this a lot. That said, sleep will only help with blunting the pain over time. Note that it is NOT time that heals all wounds, but rather good REM sleep. Other things to optimize are exercise, diet, limiting caffeine, etc but doing so while grieving is admittedly hard. Just do your best. Grief is otherwise the excruciating process of reclassifying all your memories (and associated cues like those you describe) to include the fact that your friend is now gone. The unique cruelty of it all is that each memory (when they happen to enter your consciousness) means having to experience the pain of their loss over and over again. That said, my own approach was to embrace that pain, to feel it as fully and deeply as possible, every time a new memory came up. I do this to this day even though years have now passed. This is how I chose to honor my friends’ memories and special place they held in my life. It is how I thank them for all that they gave me. Even if you believe as I do that nothing matters beyond our own experiences in life, pets surely form one of the very few genuine things worth living for. I’m sorry for your loss. #grownostr #grief #petsarebetterthanpeople