I think what is breaking my heart most right now is that everything about finding or creating a child for an LGBTQ couple, particularly two men, is framed in TRAUMA. Adopting? Be aware of the abject trauma you are going to be pulled in on. Surrogacy? Be aware of the pain and suffering you are asking someone to take on for you. 

Can we sprinkle a little happiness and magic into the creation of our family, or are we not allowed to be happy? 

 To end this on a slightly more hopeful note: We are continuing our journey. But it is not shaping up to be an easy or uplifting one. 
I am needing a bit more light in my life than usual these days.