I know, quite wordy, but the goal here it is explaining the details, not doing quick onboardng, this from my point of view should be left to the individual apps (spoiler: with an exception, that you will see soon).
Btw, do you refer to the first view, or the whole page?
Maybe just the first view / above the scroll. I think being informative is good and the whole page does a great job, but that first view to me just screams wordy and technical. It's not, and I don't mind reading it, but when coming from a non technical point of view, I think it's a bit much.
Thanks for the feedback, I will reflect on this aspect!