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 dms no workey yet :/ But if I get them working soon I will send you a message. I think I still have to fix my public load balancers. Would you know of any way to test that my node is communicating correctly from the outside?

https://www.vaughnnugent.com/resources/software/modules/NVault 
 any other way of contacting me is fine too (see https://github.com/laanwj), doesn't have to be DM here 😀 

no, i don't know any way to figure out if a lightning node is connectable, except connecting to it from another node-or maybe simply checking the address+port is reachable using `nc -v` or such

there may be websites that try it for you and report, maybe amboss.space or other lightning explorers, but not sure  
 Awesome thank you! Yeah I was just poking with telnet and other public nodes to see if I could at least replicate connections. I haven't found any services that seem to offer testing like that. I'll have to keep poking! 
 oh sure telnet works too, suggested nc because it can also connect to Tor addresses (using `-x 127.0.0.1:9050`) and telnet isn't that commonly installed anymore 😀  
 Old school :) I'm just on clearnet for now, my load balancer IPS are public so I'm not too worried about tor yet unless I need to start worrying about my ISP. I'm not even sure I set my node up to connect over tor correctly yet.  

Between us, only my servers are on bleeding edge distros/updates ;) 
 what kind of load balancing setup are you using for lightning ? i didn't know that was even a thing 
 For lighting it's not load balancing, just traffic forwarding from my public IPS. But I assume larger nodes have to be doing something more than a single instance :)  
 well, yes, LSPs and lightning payment providers handling tons of payments tend to have elaborate routing setups and multiple lightning nodes they load balance over, but maybe a bit early to worry about if you're just getting started 😀 

anyhow, happy to help test connectivity, just let me know once you get there 
 I'm always on the lookout for enterprise solutions to simple problems XD

Yeah thanks again! 
 If you care about privacy there is one more advanced setup:

you create a node with all the connectivity, channels, etc.

then you create a private node with one private channel to your "public" node.

But give your strugle with funding your channels it's probably not for you, tho... 
 Not yet. I have to convince myself it's okay to have that many sats tied up in an extremely hot wallet. I'm a stamped steel cold wallet kind of guy. Coins go in, and don't come back out. 
 I don't think it's possible. You can't run the same node in multiple instances. ever. That would lead to forced closes of all channels if there was a slightest difference in their state. 
 right ! it can't be done by simply running multiple lightning nodes with the same key, that would become a mess
some lightning software (Eclair, for example) can be explicitly configured to split a node over multiple servers
i don't remember exactly and couldnt find the details yesterday but there are also some approaches possible where the last hop is virtual 
 hmm, virtual hops, interesting. never heard of it. Thank!