Too many reasons to count.  Firstly the relay is in a state of willful neglect, so users see problems all the time.  Secondly relays by their very nature are not designed to *store* notes, just to *relay* them.  They are GOOD at relaying notes, but not good at storing notes.  Relaying is more resource intensive than storing, because you have to be always on.  Added to that you need a caching layer to scale, which nostr didnt start with, and still hasnt developed.  Also nostr never had an architecture, it was just a quick thing put together that just about worked, it was never intended to scale, it was intended as a proof of concept.  But the critical thing, is that for scaling you need a uniform interface ie scaling architecture, and it has to be pretty good.  Getting people to agree on such a thing is very hard, especially with the current state of NIP centralization.  Best that we can hope for is that someone will invest in hardware, but we've still not seen that yet, despite large donations.  tl;dr nostr still has a chance of scaling, but it would take some work and some luck.  That work is not being done, so, we would need a game changing event. 

 The game changing event is someone like me surviving long enough to design the real nostr  

 Or Jack making an awesome client.   

 Nah, he's nowhere near capable of making a good client, let alone an awesome one 

 I can do it because I love Digit for being smarter than me

Jack can't do it because he has deep rooted psychological issues with people being smarter than him, as shown by his past social media client, Twitter 

 what is Digit? 

 My favorite musician. She sent me some science book pdfs 

 can I find her music online? 

 Here's the one song she sent me, I don't know if she ever posted any to the public

https://audio.nostr.build/808960a3289a3196a8b371c2239d6925357b9a41183925f9882ee2897df313d3.mp3 

 thank you for sharing, I wonder what Digit thinks of Nostr 

 I hope she's safe and she'll find nostr someday and enjoy it 

 sorry, I just read your profile description. for how long have you known her before she disappeared? 

 I knew her online for a couple years but we were only close for a short time. I never got to learn much about her.

She had disappeared another time in the past and come back but this time is different. I was always trying to get her to talk to me again to clear up lies others told her about me that made her stop talking to me in the first place. Before she left she made me stop trying to talk to her by threatening to disappear if I tried talking to her again, so I left her alone for a while, but then she started posting about suicide a lot and nobody was trying to help her so I didn't have any choice but to try talking to her again.

She didn't mention faking her death so the rumors of her faking her death or killing herself make me even more terrified. I hope all that happened is she disappeared to scare me like she threatened to do, and added faking her death on top of it. I'm scared the threat could have been reverse psychology designed to distract me from her killing herself.

I wrote a longer post about all this here nostr:naddr1qvzqqqr4gupzqamkcvk5k8g730e2j6atadp6mxk7z4aaxc7cnwrlkclx79z4tzygqq9ysmmhf9e5g6t8d96q2ftu5e