Oddbean

Looking back I wasted so much time being loyal to the wrong people. Massive miscalculation. Probably a self worth issue on my end. I extended loyalty to those who didn’t deserve it and of course it blew back on me. It was my fault, not theirs. They never deserved it in the first place. This is what stoicism is all about. Looking back and realizing that you were actually the cause of all your suffering. Not others.

I was loyal to a group of people and was offered something many years ago that i didn’t take due to misplaced loyalty. Life lessons. Would have made me a multi millionaire . These things happen to teach you. 🤙

The only person who you can count on to be loyal to you is yourself (and sometimes even then, you'll still let yourself down). That's not to say you shouldn't trust others--just keep in mind that everyone is fallible, and likely to at some point disappoint you. Part of life's lessons I suppose....

Wish I would have read this book many years ago to understand how to navigate relationships. It would have saved me from delaying career, marriage, financial success: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1303.The_48_Laws_of_Power https://image.nostr.build/b0cfd1a358c4dad9a9ee7ebfec6c916655d32b0e9703990efcdc72875815c54a.png

Yes. When the Buddhists translate “life is suffering” the real word is called dukkha and suffering is actually a poor translation. It more means self frustration. You’re the source of your own self frustration and you can take that power back pretty much whenever you decide to.

I gave up trying to get friends into it. They all laughed behind my back. Thought I was an idiot who had been sucked into a scam. I’m doing very well and I think they still think the same. I don’t let it bother me. I tried to help them because I care about them and their families. Now they will have to come to me. When they r if ever ready.

One of the people I work with, technically someone I supervise, is the most powerful and influential person I have ever met. There are thousands of people walking the earth today because he risked his, over and over, to save theirs. And after he saved their lives he showed many of them how to build new lives here. As it turns out, some of the people he saved had been tasked with assassinating him. But he saved them anyway and then “turned” them by showing them a better future than the one they had been ordered to kill for. I don’t know anyone who deserves to puff up their chest more than him and yet he’s the most humble person I know. He worked for me for a few years before I started to learn who he really was and when I thought about the respect he showed me I started to think I must be somebody too. I started to puff my chest up a bit. But I hadn’t saved thousands of lives. I hadn’t helped hundreds of families build new lives in a new land. I just sat at the bigger desk and signed their timesheets. I didn’t “deserve” his respect. But he gave it to me anyway, not because of who I am but because of who he is. He believes everyone is worthy of respect, everyone is worth saving, that given the chance everyone will choose a future built on freedom over one based on orders. I wonder sometimes how hard it was for him to be patient with me during those years that I thought I was somebody. He wasn’t loyal to me, but to the better version of me he hoped I could become. And now I feel obligated to become that person because he deserves the respect of someone worthy of showing it.

mate sometimes you say stuff that makes me think we run parallel lives. This is my experience. You go out and make a bit of money or whatever, and then someone in your life is struggling. You're their friend, and they say they arent happy, they have an obstacle in their life stopping them from getting on. There are 2 types of people. The first uses your help and because they truly wanted what they said. The second, was using the obstacle as a excuse to avoid achieving their potential, and now its awkward b/c you've called their bluff by believing in them more than they believed in themselves, and they're scared. Too guilty or ashamed to say, they let you down, ghost you etc. Of course we're ultimately responsible. I would now, no sooner help someone who is not ready to evolve, than I would give a child an axe and a chainsaw because they want to be a fireman when they grow up.

That's 100% how hospital hierachy works and I feel it's mostly like that in big corporations in our fiat world: 1. In the beginning they make you feel completely worthless until you start believing it 2. At some point you'll get accepted if you stay long enough (out of "wrong loyality") and endure their bullying 3. You start bullying the new ones yourself

the story you posted on trying to help friend made me understand way better where you're coming from in the recent years. sorry it went like that and thanks for sharing it nostr:nevent1qqsf60udtpsd9p6fhpy6fcez4dgtpp28yepj7vydvu32zld6f5xru4gpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduhsygq6lcx8fc7h0p8t4ya9u0a92jnwavqe9rgjwwdw3wjgxfuxsz8rd5psgqqqqqqs4ez6gq