incoherent plonker is a nice one too

or calling someone a fucking spoon 

 Spoon is one hella of an insult 😂 

 Fucking spoon lmfao I'm 💀 

  https://media1.giphy.com/media/3o7aDdmUgh1IuqLGPm/200w.webp?cid=4ea4f8d505y9yumh9tozb7nrcvpcn59mu5elk99z7hw8aqcj&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=200w.webp&ct=g 

 Muppet is a great alternative.

They really have great insults.  

 Try calling someone a “Wee Jobbie” 🤌 

 Doughnuts if your British 😁 

 You’re* 😅 

 ITS YOU'RE YOU DONUT! 🍩 

 IT’S IT’S YOU DOUGHNUT 🍩 🤣 

 from no nut november

to donut november 

 We have other words you might like… 
https://m.primal.net/Lvhe.jpg 

 i love using "you absolute [innocent noun]" as an insult. 

 Fucking spoon!  

 You absolute paper napkin 

 🤌 

 Makes only sense! You're still part of the British Commonwealth you jolly ol' chap! 

 Any inanimate object such as 'spoon, fridge, bench, spanner have had their day.

'Gormless cunt', and 'of course 'bell-end' have always been choice picks of mine and both strike hard.
Many iterations of 'knob' work well, go and practice, you'll see.
'Wanker', or 'tosser' in British refers to ANY unlikable personality trait.

And here, my frens is the link to the absolute pièce de résistance. Roger Mellie's bible, and absolute work of art, 'Roger's Profanisaurus'. 

https://www.scribd.com/document/475590740/Roger-s-Profanisaurus-pdf

 

 There are some great terms. I put this together just now (not aimed at anyone):

Cor blimey! Give over with the aggro and argy-bargy you numpty, and stop being such a bellend you fucking spoon. That’s right! You’re all mouth and no trousers and always bodge things up, especially after a bender. Such a wet blanket! Indeed, we can be having a chinwag over your daily rag and how it’s full of codswallop but when I ask for a butcher’s you instead turn the page and tell me to do one. You’re such a plonker! Seriously, get on yer bike you smarmy doughnut!