I only allow that if it's served like that, but even then I still feel insulted by the chef. 

 Fair. My wife is smol so she cuts her burgers in half. That's all I allow 

 Smol wives are the best 

 "how do you eat your burger? with your hands?"

https://i.poastcdn.org/b50ddd680f86638f93dd0bb3b141a13f76feb894f5f99f9580229b1ea14640ca.jpg 

 With my mouth you dumb yid.