Oddbean

I'll stop you right there for a bit. One of my friends is stern that as a father, his best intentions are to sacrifice himself for his kids and every parent is like this. Mine are not and he doesn't believe that. I'm not even adopted or something really bad and yet my parents are toxic hateful cunts with victim mentality against everybody. It took me quite a few years on therapy to understand why daddy never loved me and mummy thinks everything dysfunctional is my fault. I'm not complaining, I see their traumas and even the previous generation's and got over it somewhat successfully. But there was never any will for improvement. Everybody can be a father, but not a dad. 🤷‍♀️

Thanks. It's not much, but good enough. I must also give 100 % credit to my extremely patient and supportive husband. It was like a docile unicorn and a rabid dog got together. Without this, I'd be drinking myself to death or succeed already. Healthy love is everything, finding a good solid spouse is a win.

Same same here, been estranged from the parents since late teens, due to the toxicity of high functioning alcoholics. Learnt the hard way that If you do not have anything for yourself, you cannot continually give. 🙏 Agree 💯 any one can become a father or mother. Being a Dad or a Mom is another level.

Do you have kids? I got acquainted with something called parental regression (or similar in english), that was fun. Reliving your shit with your children, it brings out dead memories. Good thing is that it's a thing therapists are aware of😄