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 They wouldn't let the man anywhere near one. It would be the first presidential self-assassination.

Wait a second. 
 Just start leaving chainsaws around EVERYWHERE, like in his bedroom, and in the bath, in the closet XD .  
 Biden opening his gifts on his birthday : 

'Thanks but I already have 143 chainsaws, why do you people keep giving me the same gift? ' 
'Also where am I , who am I , is this my shit in my pants? '