Oddbean

It’s a mixture of truth, lack of context, and people thinking they understand the law when they don’t. I am on the registry if that’s what you’re asking. But how I got there was not as bad as is usually portrayed, but it was still wrong doing, for which I pled guilty (not a deal) and served every single day I was sentenced. I find very few people are actually interested in the facts though.

I was an alcoholic in my early 20’s. I was (then) undiagnosed with bipolar disorder and I guess I was trying to self medicate. It didn’t really help with anything, but I was pretty blind to that at the time. It was a Friday, and some “friends” came over and we drank and had a “good time.” I keep using quotes because I don’t think I enjoyed that sort of thing then, and certainly don’t now. The party progressed as they do and my ex-wife and I ended up in the bed with a young lady. Both wanted to fool around and I was not thinking about consequences for any of the three of us. Stuff happened. The next day, realized what had happened, felt awful, and yes, scared to some degree. Girl said not to worry about it, wasn’t her first time. I said ok, but she was not to come over anymore. Everyone agreed and we went separate ways. A year later, from what my lawyer explains, she told a girl friend of hers about that night, and it ended up getting back to the parents, etc. Cops came and talked to me, and I spent 6 months in county jail waiting to get sent to circuit court. Ex-wife was also arrested. I pled guilty without a trail, and told the judge that I was responsible for the party, etc and got sentenced to 12 years. I took prison very seriously as a sign that some major changes needed to take place in my life. I got a job teaching people to read in our adult educational facility at the prison and started going to church. Worked on mending fences with my family as what I had done affected them as well. After several years I was transferred to another facility and ended up working at a textile plant run by the facility and volunteered at the church there. When I came home I returned to my career (no minors are even allowed to work at the specific place I do, so that was a good fit) and married a wonderful woman (within a few years of one another). She cannot have kids, which seemed like a serendipity even though I am allowed to have my own as a non-violent offender. I got involved in some things online after coming home that I shouldn’t have (being hateful, not anything related to my crime) which was brought on by something that happened while I was locked up. It was a mistake thinking that anything in there related to anything in the free world. A friend I made at work challenged my thinking on that, about six months after I left that group. I’ve agonized over how to address this here, and I’ve ended up doing it on the spot anyways. I hope that clears some things up. I’ve tried to focus on my immediate conduct towards others since joining Nostr, and trying to build up instead of destroy. I’ve gotten the help for my mental health I needed, and just tried to do right. I can’t speak to any of the “quiet hurts” it may have caused the young lady. I’m not allowed to have contact (which seems sensible) so I haven’t been able to hear how she did after. I do know she still lives in this area and is married with kids now. I’m happy for her and take precautions to not be in her area, and I almost never go anywhere alone. Besides that I have an excellent relationship with the local PD, comply with what I’m asked to do, and I come off the registry in five more years.

She was 14, and was 23 at the time of the crime. It wasn’t a simple “oops.” It was being too drunk to think about it or care about consequences. There’s nothing there to make it not wrong. It was wrong.

I think I see where you were getting the ages from. The registry has it as aggravated - I was not convicted of that. That was in error, but was the original charge. It was lowered to simple for the conviction.

I’m sorry but a 14 year old getting inebriated and having sex with a couple in their 20’s shouldn’t be ok. SameCat and his spouse should’ve acted like adults and not let a young teenager party with them. I don’t think the cops and/or prosecutors were in the wrong here. Neither are the people doxxing SameCat and connecting his anonymous profiles where in some he has recently posted neo-nazi, homophobic, and perverse posts. Everyone wants an open public square for freedom of speech but forget in the days of public squares people were openly shamed for inappropriate behavior.

I don't see much reason to question the story we have. It might not be true but reacting to it as it's presented to me is basically all the time it's worth in my view. There's no big picture impact. Let me also clarify my statement on wanting to make the guy's life worse - it's fair to have some antipathy for perverts who gross you out, and more antipathy for neo Nazis, but there should also be respect for people's rights and antipathy for the state that files false charges regularly and puts people on a sex offender registry without protecting them from worse criminals

Neo Nazis and homophobia aren't good but it sounds like the girl consented and I don't like people who would be so grossed out by this guy they want to actively make his life worse while war criminals aren't voted out of office. I also read that it was a bridge user from the "fediverse" or whatever, not an actual nostr user, so your "days of public squares" analogy only makes sense if I'm forgetting the part where anonymous people sent holograms that could freely deliver their harassment without the need to face responses. I think if you want to use the censorship resistance of nostr to dox people on nostr, you should actually use nostr to the fullest instead of just taking the most convenient part of it for an isolated authoritarian worldview.

Thank you Eryn. I’m incredibly sorry knowing some people I care about will be disappointed in me. All I can do is try to do more good than I’ve done bad. I’ll probably go to my grave with that unfinished, but I can’t change the past. Unfortunately, that’s written in stone.

I am more than a little curious who it was, why they did it, and how. But overall, I knew it was an inevitability. There are people online who devote all their free time to doxxing people with rough pasts. There were already several people I had considered opening up to on here, but this kinda forced my hand. So be it. There will always be people who accept me for who I’m trying to be now, and those who reject me for the past. Both choices are their right.

I got the same mysterious DM and I wanted to hear your side of the story privately, but I guess you weren’t ready to talk about it. Anyway, no hard feelings. I’m sure you’ve already explained it to strangers many times and I don’t need to open old wounds. PV 🤙

I’ve learned to judge others by who they show themselves to be after I’ve gotten to know them, not random accusations from internet cowards. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve owned up to everything, given up a big part of your life, and helped others along the way. I’m glad you’re still here.