I was an alcoholic in my early 20’s. I was (then) undiagnosed with bipolar disorder and I guess I was trying to self medicate. It didn’t really help with anything, but I was pretty blind to that at the time. 

It was a Friday, and some “friends” came over and we drank and had a “good time.”  I keep using quotes because I don’t think I enjoyed that sort of thing then, and certainly don’t now. 

The party progressed as they do and my ex-wife and I ended up in the bed with a young lady. Both wanted to fool around and I was not thinking about consequences for any of the three of us. Stuff happened. 

The next day, realized what had happened, felt awful, and yes, scared to some degree.  Girl said not to worry about it, wasn’t her first time. I said ok, but she was not to come over anymore. Everyone agreed and we went separate ways. 

A year later, from what my lawyer explains, she told a girl friend of hers about that night, and it ended up getting back to the parents, etc. Cops came and talked to me, and I spent 6 months in county jail waiting to get sent to circuit court. Ex-wife was also arrested. 

I pled guilty without a trail, and told the judge that I was responsible for the party, etc and got sentenced to 12 years. 

I took prison very seriously as a sign that some major changes needed to take place in my life. I got a job teaching people to read in our adult educational facility at the prison and started going to church. Worked on mending fences with my family as what I had done affected them as well. 

After several years I was transferred to another facility and ended up working at a textile plant run by the facility and volunteered at the church there. 

When I came home I returned to my career (no minors are even allowed to work at the specific place I do, so that was a good fit) and married a wonderful woman (within a few years of one another). She cannot have kids, which seemed like a serendipity even though I am allowed to have my own as a non-violent offender. 

I got involved in some things online after coming home that I shouldn’t have (being hateful, not anything related to my crime) which was brought on by something that happened while I was locked up. It was a mistake thinking that anything in there related to anything in the free world. A friend I made at work challenged my thinking on that, about six months after I left that group. 

I’ve agonized over how to address this here, and I’ve ended up doing it on the spot anyways. I hope that clears some things up. 

I’ve tried to focus on my immediate conduct towards others since joining Nostr, and trying to build up instead of destroy. I’ve gotten the help for my mental health I needed, and just tried to do right. 

I can’t speak to any of the “quiet hurts” it may have caused the young lady. I’m not allowed to have contact (which seems sensible) so I haven’t been able to hear how she did after. I do know she still lives in this area and is married with kids now. I’m happy for her and take precautions to not be in her area, and I almost never go anywhere alone. 

Besides that I have an excellent relationship with the local PD, comply with what I’m asked to do, and I come off the registry in five more years.