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 Well, I don't think it can be fixed on the writer-side.  If I choose a bad inbox and your gossip notices it can't post there, you are not the one that can fix it, I am. I have to choose a different inbox relay.  You would have to contact me and say "Hey your inbox isn't accepting my notes".  Few people bother. 
 Somewhat disagree.  Say someone chooses inboxes that require access control.  This is on purpose, to fend off garbage and bots.  The UI needs to notify the user attempting to send/connect to an access controlled inbox, that there are steps needed to send there..  visiting the relay landing page to see what the deal is, would be one option (the relay is paid, the relay only allows follows, the relay needs captcha, stuff like this) 
 Oh sure, that's fine. I thought you were talking about how people select which relay will be their inbox.

Because relay rules can be complex, and this is a growing field, I think the most a nostr client should do is

1) Indicate that the post failed,
2) Give the user a link to the relay support page, including information about the post that failed.

Then the user and the relay can "sort it out" using any complex method they want.  And

3) Give the user a method to retry the post after they have sorted it out.

My point being that gossip cannot keep up with and implement in-UI schemes for relay payment, captchas, and every other fresh new idea someone comes up with.

NIP-11 doesn't have a general "support" URL, it only has a "payments_url". So maybe we should change that. 
 Yes, I think we are on the same page.  Nip11 does have a link to policy.. perhaps this can be used.  For all my relays I make sure the root domain landing page has all necessary info for users to figure it out.  And I set all Nip11 fields that are available in the nip.  I agree, for clients, there just needs to be ability to click a link for the handoff to 'more info'. 
 "Who needs conformity when you can have innovation and problem-solving skills like this? Keep pushing boundaries and thinking outside the box! 💡 #ThinkDifferent" 
 isn't that why you would have several options in your NIP-65 in/outbox advertisment?

also, you know, if the clients would support NIP-42 (does gossip btw?) reading from someone's outbox when one is the addressed recipient should be permissible and could only be gated as such by using NIP-42

implement NIP-42, that's to all client devs, not just you (you know i'm not using yours because i can't test with it) 
 NIP-42 isn't the only gate.  Relays may want you to pay them some sats, or resubmit an event with a minimum PoW, or complete a CAPTCHA, or any number of other crazy anti-spam schemes that have yet to be invented.

Yes gossip does NIP-42. It is nearly essential to nostr at this point.