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 So some secret shady node runner decided to abuse my brand new nothing burger node by opening a channel, circular spending a bunch of SATs to Wallet of Satoshi and closing the channel. All in the space of a few hours. 

Did I lose anything, no. Funds are safu. Well, as safu any any coin can be in a hot wallet.

But I have a drastically reduced amount spendable on lightning so need to open another channel, and of course, as soon as this need arises, fees go up again.

Kudos to you anon for washing your SATs so successfully. 
 Not sure I understand, are you saying they just abused your liquidity?

Once lightning takes over, I expect the return on capital locked in channels to trend towards a global, market led, interest rate, but we’ve a long way to go until then. 
 Yeah just abused my liquidity to do an on chain to off chain swap for them, and the reverse for me. 
 Ahh, I see.  So they cleaned their sats, and you had to contribute to channel closure.   That sucks.. 
 I have so much to learn…
🧡🍻👊🏻😂 
 Btw,
You’re following a fake impersonator scammer account 


https://m.primal.net/LkAw.jpg