And it doesn’t matter if you want to sow division or not, when you say “as a straight, white male” to preface your position, you sow it regardless. Because you literally establish the mental framing that this is a critical part of your argument, and the next time the reader listens to someone else, they immediately think “I wonder if this is a straight white male?” Because you taught them to. 

How you think about the problem precedes the solution. EVERY time 

 I appreciate this nuance. In fact, I can agree that it’s probably not helpful to lead with that, the way I did. (I do think it was unnecessary for my original discussion partner to get so triggered by it that he left,, and I appreciate your ongoing engagement and thoughtful approach to joint truth-seeking even more than I might normally, by contrast). 

You may be right, in that it would have been a far more powerful answer to the original question of “how did trump take away freedoms” to simply recount his many policies and orders that explicitly or implicitly limited the rights of specific groups of people, and authorized forms of repression against individuals who historically and statistically/invariably already face a dramatically higher share of “poor treatment” by those in our society who hold power than others.

Not sure if I recommended The Color of Law in a previous reply, or if I just thought of it. But it felt very bitcoiner-y to read and I would recommend. It’s decidedly not a woke culture piece… I would zap the fuck out of a Guy Swann audiobook, just sayin… 

 There’s another piece to this that I’m thinking about.

If the only point in question is whether leading with the point about differences is beneficial or not, the discussion is pretty straightforward.

Where it gets tricky and toxic, though, is the part where many people continue to willingly ignore or deny the existence of “privilege” (defined as the fact that people in the racial/religious majority experience a significant type of ease or freedom in society that’s frequently defined to minority groups for no reason other than their physical traits). The term “ignorant” (another word that’s been corrupted by woke institutional incentives) actually comes from “ignore”. It doesn’t mean “stupid” or “uninformed”, but rather, “intentionally disregarding the truth” (generally because the truth is painful or uncomfortable). 

So yes, beginning the discussion with “my life is easier because I’m white” may be counterproductive (and I’m not so sure that it is, but I get your point), the flip-side is a common cultural knee-jerk reaction to deny or debate the existence of racial privilege (or institutional racism, systemic injustice/imbalance,  etc., call it what you will) and get lost in the weeds there, instead of acknowledging the significant and real impacts of existing cultural dynamics, and then being free to proceed with honesty, compassion, and a goal of increasing every individual’s freedom to maximize their own potential in the world, the market, and within themselves. 

 it depends who the audience is.  one way of speaking doesn’t fit all.

and mentioning stuff in one context & particular audience situation is not the same as equating the whole being of someone to those things mentioned.

imho, you’re right too that in many scenarios, talking about race, gender, or whatever is counterproductive.

totally true that in many cases it’s gone way too far with classifying people’s “traits” or “characteristics” or whatever.

it’s like, “ser, this is a wendy’s.” 

 I agree with you entirely, and I’m decidedly *not* equating on’s character with one’s physical body.

What I’m saying is, people in certain bodies experience significantly more abuse and marginalization in a society than people in other bodies. That doesn’t define who they are, or what they’re like or are capable of. Full stop.

It is a fact of this world that an inordinately outsized share of the total discrimination and violence is shouldered by specific minority groups. Recognizing this truth, and by extension recognizing that I have absolutely no real idea what it would be like to experience life through that lens, because my physical incarnation simply isn’t one of the usual recipients of racism. That’s the simple meaning of racial privilege, and it’s purpose is not to shame or put down someone who experiences that privilege/freedom from oppression. Recognizing it just means that I can honor the truth of my own and others’ experience, and live with more truth and love as a result. Not turn away from it because some things are hard, and not try to explain it away for fear of how one will be received.

In my experience, it’s only when our movement comes from a place of truth and honesty, can we actually honor and love one another. 

Acknowledging difficult truths doesn’t mean placing circumstances and physical traits above or before interpersonal communion; rather it creates the space and freedom to move into deeper states of relation, connection, presence, understanding, compassion, and joy.

It’s sort of like how, if you “push away” or repress a painful experience, it doesn’t actually go away, and will actually continue to be a part of your consciousness - but it controls you. It’s only when you acknowledge, feel, and honor that pain do you become bigger than it, and free from the suffering associated to it.