Im so retarded the army wouldn’t have me. Literally applied to JAG three years in a row.  Captain told me he interviewed 80 people and only put forward three for a commission including me and I couldn’t get in. 

 Ooooo. Fancy officer type. If you were a true retard, you'd go enlisted. 🤣 

 I was considering doing that as a way in but by then I met my wife and decided to make money instead. 

 Good call