I think I saw a private group about you.  

 Dark side of fame 

 but those who abused me did not have a happy ending 

 I tried to warn them, but they beat me and revoked my group invite 

 Nice try 😂 

 But look I don’t have time for your games so I’m going to mute and block you 

 I understand 🥲 

 👀 

 😒 

 I haven't.

But I have often wondered if we should launch a Crusade to free Muslim men from the tyranny of their wives and mothers.

Inside the house, they have no rights.

And if random-female-relative-#1632 turns up on the doorstep, they have to feed and house her basically forever for the sake of the family's reputation; like Westerners from a century ago. 

 This might be somewhat true, but dude 
you are claiming that they have willingly given up their rights due to their laziness.

You are acting that the oppression of women or fanaticism towards women in the Middle East does not exist. 

 Not just wide of my points, missed the mountain behind them too!

Eris, the Taliban have hacked your account, and their marksmanship hasn't gotten any better! 

 Your irony sounded true 

 It often is, but your return fire was against points I hadn't made, wouldn't make, and have no intention of defending :p

So I'm going to lean back against this rock, eat halva, and watch you light up an empty hill across the valley for a while 

 Now imagine that a man with seven wives and twenty-four children has deliberately put you up to provoke me to see if I am for or against being treated like a Taliban woman 

 Oh he knows the answer, he just thinks its funny.

Folks, if you care about Eris, zap her so she can buy a plane ticket and live her dream!

Seven goats, eight children, no alarm clock... and no mirrors. 

 Terrible! 
is important for women to better educate their husbands and children. 

 Perhaps due to the desire to kidnap and treat me like a Taliban woman, what you said sounded very real. 

 Hmmm if the female relative is young, can't you just find her a husband? 

 Uh... No.

That's weird. And not fun, quirky weird. Bad weird.  

 Relax dude! 

 I tend to not relax when someone seems to want to be kidnapped and treated poorly.  

 will you come to save me if my crush will come to kidnap me and treat me like a Taliban woman in the middle of the forest? 

 I'm not likely capable of that. 

I'm also thoroughly confused. That's not unusual, but, in this case, it's perplexing.  

 If you can’t save me, what will you do to relax? 

 Shrug my shoulders and go to sleep. I don't try to obsess about things out of my control. That's too much stress and that will kill me if I let it.  

 GN then 

 Then, goodnight.  

 If you were a virgin, I could think of it.