I've been using Bisq for 4 years now and have never had an issue with the exchange or with anyone I'm transacting with. Obviously that's not a guarantee you wouldn't have an issue, but from my experience, the risk is low. Granted, it's a little bit of a hassle to get started since you need to already have some sats to deposit,  but that's a one time hassle.

If you want a guide to help walk you through how to set it up and use it while minimizing KYC risk as much as possible, I would recommend Econoalchemist's guide. That's what I used. 

Like someone else mentioned, you can use Zelle through your bank to make the P2P payment. From the looks of it, that seems to be one of the most popular options as there's almost always a decent amount of trades available using it. 

I have had the problem you mentioned of the trade requiring a higher escrow amount than I had available or wanted to put up, but in that situation, I'd say you have two options: 

1. Keep checking back every so often until you find a trade you like, or 
2. Create a buy offer of your own so you can set the terms you can afford and are comfortable with. 

I hope that's helpful. I've been happy with Bisq personally. I completely understand your caution to the risk involved -- I started with really small amounts while I tested it out -- however, for what it's worth, IMO I think the greater risk is not having any Bitcoin at all. 

 I appreciate this. I'll be giving Bisq another look, just won't get my hopes up considering how every other attempt I've made has failed haha. If this last ditch attempt doesn't work, I'm just going to give up. Not worth my stress trying to figure it all out, honestly. Can't have a parallel economy if it's a nightmare to try to access.

But yeah, I'll try Bisq again and see if it works out.