Agreed. But sometimes I just get this arghhhhhhh gfy feeling when trying to fix or improve things from the user side. We're absolutely early and I believe that eventually features like DM's will work "out of the box" and perhaps we'll find a way for users to just use their paid relays in their app config to experience the vast variety of nostr features. 

 Paid relays will never solve the problem. I'm not paying for everyone's relay use and neither is anyone else but relay operators