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 Going into a relationship with the perspective that your gf has the same agency as you do is setting your relationship up for self-destruction because you're abdicating your role as the leader, the responsible party. Youre making the relationship co-equal, which is just feminism.
I know its not fair to have to take responsibility for another person's actions but that's how it is IRL. 
 Somebody told me years ago that a good marriage is similar to a ship, with a captain and a first mate.  Ultimate authority (and responsibility) rests on the captain, and the first mate has agency but still answers to the captain.  The two need to work together and understand their role.  A good captain values the input from his first mate, and disagreements can happen, but the final decision is always his.  

I have no idea if this is actually in line with how ship's crews actually work but it sounds good.

I can tell you from the experience of being divorced, if you, the husband, are not the leader, your marriage is probably going to fail.  I made this mistake when I was into libertarian nonsense, and it doesn't work.