85% of Australians huddle in five safe giant cities, watered by enormous engineering works, so we can pretend we're in Europe.

Those pyromaniac trees still kill people every year, despite billions spent combating them. 

 Are you one of the 15% hopping around the kangaroo-eating spiders and over the napalm trees? 

 We're lucky the Emu's allowed us to stay  after their victory ✌️  

 Australians are tough bastards. 
My great uncle survived war, being struck by lightning, blown up by a gas heater, bitten by Tiger Snakes multiple times, two boat sinkings, bitten by a Redback Spider, to name a few.
My brother has survived being bitten by a Tiger Snake, stung by a Stingray, electrocuted, several car crashes.

I'm not helping, am I? 😂 

 Some people just attract disaster, eh? 😂 

 My uncle was stung by a stingray and not bitten by a spider but stomped on one barefoot and its juices got into a cut and seriously messed up his foot. He got yearly pains from the stingray somehow, don’t know how that worked. Also sank a boat, rolled his car, and burned down his shed making sinkers 😂 

 Yeah my brother said the stingray was the most painful thing he'd ever experienced, messed him up.