You gonna need some shots after this 🤣 

ER nurse: “ma’am how did this happen to your friend?” 

Me: “well, he said if @ltngstore made jibbitz he would put them in every orifice.”

ER nurse: “he has a toddler who won’t even do that…” 

Me: “yes ma’am…. But he did eat a snail.”

ER nurse: “he also ate a snail?”

Me: “no, his son ate a snail. That was a while back though. Kid is fine.”

ER nurse: “so your friends have a history of putting things in places they don’t belong.”

Me: “yes, it’s genetic.”