Fuck I might just get a GaS digital sub 

 Stonetoss still slaps huh? 

 Ok finally switched to KDE. Why have I never done this? It's so polished 

 So, last night I woke up at 2 am from a nightmare to a panic attack in which I believed I could hear someone attempting to rip my screen door off it's hinges and break into my house. I had my hand on my gun and the only thing that calmed me was the fact that my dog hadn't woken up. 

I am trying so hard to allow myself to be sad and not revert to overboiling anger. I was using alcohol to calm myself and it was ruining my sleep, putting me on edge the next day and progressively getting worse and culminating in panic attacks. I have to be in control again.

I've said what I needed to say and left more unsaid that I regret not sharing when I had the opportunity to. I'm not going to get a do over. I just wish closure was a state of mind that I could actually reach. 

 I am about to be sober for the first time in ten years. If that hangover hits head on, my bones will explode 

 That reminds me. Ice Ice Baby and Under Pressure have the same bass part lol 

 What's a song that will legit make you cry?

For me, it's The Earth Falls Asleep by Abandon Kansas. 

Maybe Pillars by Lighthouses 

 Thendrix gets me 

 Uh wait... the Hulu app is no longer on Google Play? 

 Currently still have my job 

 Ngl I think a majority of my relationships with people are ones that don't exist unless I constantly remind them. 

 Ace Combat 7 is ridiculous. Weather matters now which is cool except now its "fly through chinese mountains in a thunderstorm and try to shoot down unmanned drones who are fast as hell while trying not to get hit by lightning strikes. Oh and if one teammate dies, mission failed restart from checkpoint"