I remember when airlines didn't assassinate people 

 Mastodon currently feels like the end of a party. Most of the normals have gone and we who remain are the hardcore. Or have problems at home. Or are desperately lonely. I may have lost control of this metaphor. 

 I love Mastodon. It's like playing social media in hard mode. 

 Just reading a news article about shoplifting (POV: shoplifting bad).

It's impossible to feel any animosity towards people living with nothing nicking the odd thing from corporations that are posting mega-profits and the ruling classes so blatantly embezzle taxpayer money.

Ooh, look that person stole a tin of soup. Michelle Monaghan bought herself a fucking yacht with blood money.

MPs horses are treated with more deference than their constituents. 

 Tusky is currently having problems with images. So I am currently browsing my timeline as though a visually impaired person might. And I've gotta tell you.... it's a bit fucking annoying when images don't have AltText. Also (and I am 100% guilty of this) where the AltText doesn't actually describe what's going on and is a joke. Congratulations - you've just posted a meaningless blur! 

 Found out that Nic Cage got hammered in a ribs restaurant downing shots from an eight grand bottle of whisky, wearing leopard print trousers and no shoes and...... I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.

LEGEEEEEEEEEEND

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/111/159/751/028/576/859/original/cbd249f619aec003.jpg 

 My kids when I'm staring at my phone again

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/111/153/912/246/008/196/original/07572a1d7b02343a.jpg 

 I am in my mid-40s, British, went to a religious 6th form and briefly when homeless was taken in and lived in an actual vicarage. And yet..... I have NEVER heard of Michaelmas. Like Christmas is about Christ, today is apparently about the angel Michael who chucked Lucifer out of heaven where he landed on a blackberry bush and got cross so he pissed on it. Which is why today is the last day you're supposed to pick blackberries (BECAUSE FROM TOMORROW THEY WILL BE DRIPPING IN URINE).

Today it is apparently tradition to eat goose (something about someone being raised from the dead by a goose or something) but as I am vegan I shall instead today be behaving like a silly goose. Happy made up festival everyone! DON'T EAT THE PISSBERRIES AFTER MIDNIGHT. 

 As a writer have you ever tried this simple trick - of giving up and running into the ocean, never to be seen again? 

 I don't know if this has already been done, but I'd love to see a Jedi with just like shit-loads of lightsaber burns all over them from where they've been practicing. 

 Tonight with the cold evenings drawing in, I've been inspired to make a hearty dinner. A mashup of patatas a lo pobre and paella. We've got some new plant based chorizo and bacon which I've also thrown in and I have to tell you - it looks and smells fantastic! 

 I wouldn't trust Jeremy Hunt to water my plants 

 I apparently have to get a bus. I'll be honest, I don't know how to behave on a bus. Do you announce yourself, or perhaps greet everyone individually? 

 Absolutely love to see a joke get subverted by cold hard facts. You keep in real out there, fact-kings. 

 Outrage about thing that most people are broadly outraged about.

Boost if you agree.