I am in my mid-40s, British, went to a religious 6th form and briefly when homeless was taken in and lived in an actual vicarage. And yet..... I have NEVER heard of Michaelmas. Like Christmas is about Christ, today is apparently about the angel Michael who chucked Lucifer out of heaven where he landed on a blackberry bush and got cross so he pissed on it. Which is why today is the last day you're supposed to pick blackberries (BECAUSE FROM TOMORROW THEY WILL BE DRIPPING IN URINE).

Today it is apparently tradition to eat goose (something about someone being raised from the dead by a goose or something) but as I am vegan I shall instead today be behaving like a silly goose. Happy made up festival everyone! DON'T EAT THE PISSBERRIES AFTER MIDNIGHT.