if they made citizen kane today he’d be played by Chris Pratt and his last words would be “soo, THAT just happened” with a fortnite dab. fade to black, mid credits scene for the rosebud cinematic universe
I have never in my life had less faith in anything, anything at all, anything under the fucking sun, in any universe, in any multiverse than I have in the current polling.
okay I have taken inventory of my home office and neither myself nor the next 3 generations of my bloodline need to purchase any more Field Notes Memo Books
“Battles are beyond everything else struggles of morale. Defeat is inevitable as soon as the hope of conquering ceases to exist. Success comes not to him who has suffered the least but to him whose will is firmest and morale strongest.”
― Barbara W. Tuchman, The Guns of August
You are allowed to log the fuck off. Ignore the headlines. Ignore the tweets. Ignore the chaos and the noise and the people who profit from it. Go doorknock. Make some phone calls. Take up a hobby. Learn to bake sour dough. And then vote. Don’t let the bullshit depress, oppress or suppress you.
they said “trump can’t dance.” i showed them. i did the worm for 45 minutes straight. no questions, just pure, unfiltered patriotic wiggling. genetic purity. take that fake news
Trump is not a man of mystery. He’s a semi-sentient hairpiece with delusions of competence who trite-supremacied his way into the Oval Office. Like watching a toddler who just shit its diaper try to pilot a Boeing 747 but the toddler has nuclear codes + an itchy Twitter finger and is also racist.
If you vote for the pants shitting, muslim banning, transgender children terrorising, white supremacist pandering shitbag, you deserve to be ostracized by your family forever and die alone in your easy chair to the sounds of Fox News LOVE YOU
i love making my little to-do lists because it helps me organize all the little things i’ll pretend to give a shit about before failing to reach my potential every day I am blessed
There are 2 wolves inside me: one craves the seamless simplicity of an all-Apple ecosystem, and the other fights for the freedom and flexibility of cross-platform independence. The struggle is real. Anyone got an answer? Anyone else struggle with this?
the Open Source Men have logged on. they’re typing furiously about licenses again. my Timeline is a hellscape of neckbeards screaming “ACTUALLY”. god help us all
Congratulations to the latest 3 white dudes who have raised 5 million dollars from other white dudes to solve a problem for white dudes.
We’re so, so proud of you. sobbing
Freud was basically the older guy at the party who thinks he’s figured you out after 5 minutes of talking about himself and is absolutely going to try and fuck you after 2 margaritas
left/Dem election doomers aren’t forecasting—they’re hedging. Predicting a Trump win now means they won’t look naive if it happens. Better to be “surprised” by being wrong and have it forgotten in the euphoria than risk looking vulnerable for having hope. It’s pragmatic pessimism as ego armor.
if I had a nickel for every time a right wing/Trump voter/registered Republican tried to take out Trump, I’d have… wait, three nickels? which isn’t a lot, but it’s not zero
Can’t believe Edison tried 100 different lightbulbs before he could get one to work. you know you can just check the box to see if it’s the right bulb? Asshole.
everyone’s crying about plagiarism because my “paper” is “100% copied” from “Wikipedia” let me tell you something: I CHANGED THE FONT. I’m the victim here
The GOP right now is that scene in every heist movie where they try to convince the cops they’re just regular guys in the back of a very conspicuous van
some days you’re the pigeon, other days you’re the statue. the key is to not be the racist statue of some confederate motherfucker who lost the civil war
Me: connects to the wrong Bluetooth speaker once
iPhone: (forever) You wanna pair with that fridge again, huh? Go ahead, jam out in the kitchen. Fucking moron.
good news: we’ve raised $100 million in funding. bad news: our entire platform is still just a google doc and a powerpoint slide with the word ‘agentic’ on it in wordart
“if voting were actually effective, would they really let us do it?” - every smug asshole who thinks reading Das Kapital (Abridged) once is a personality
Trump hit the limit on his voter base when he lost in 2020. Unless he’s found an untapped vein of new white people, he’s maxed out. The Lite Supremacist path to victory was hoping the dems stayed home this time, and Harris put an end to that shit.
That’s it. That’s the game.
obviously the cowardly lion would be MAGA, no debate. also definitely gaston, uncle vernon, and the Mel Gibson rooster from chicken run. facts don’t care about your feelings.
Jesus: so I’ve multiplied the loaves and fishes and there’s enough food for everyone
modern christians: “this is SOCIALISM. i’ll bring my OWN bread, fuck you”
republican voters are so easy to grift you could slap an eagle sticker on a bottle of piss, call it “constitution juice,” and they’d mortgage their house to buy a year’s supply, dumbest motherfuckers who ever drew breath
every night my intrusive thoughts are like “eat the cat food” and i’m like “no” and they’re like “eat the cat food” and i’m like “NO” and they’re like “EAT THE CAT FOOD” and i’m like “fine” and now i have to explain to my cats why we’re out of food
Wanted to re intro, since a few folks didn’t realise this about me but - I’m a damned proud transgender journalist, writer, and creator. My work has been published in places like Wired, TIME, The Next Web etc. Through my own publication @ Westenberg, I cover tech, politics, and online culture. 🏳️⚧️
oh wow, you asked me to define ‘woman’ for the 1000th time, absolutely devastating. you really cracked the case, sherlock. you should define ‘insecurity’ while you desperately cling to the one debate point you think makes you sound like you have a functioning motherfucking brain cell
The obvious answer to social media platform anxiety? Just POSSE that shit—post once, syndicate everywhere. Let your content roam free while you chill. This is why I’m a micro dot blog maxi.
Take it from a recovering alcoholic: if you’re trying to build habits, don’t start with a fancy habit-tracking app. Grab a notebook, a pen, and focus on tracking just one habit for 30 days. Simplicity wins every time
Twitter is literally just 48 crypto dudes in matching Temu aviators paying $8 a month to LARP as ‘thought leaders’ in the comments of a Burger King promo
If you have ever signed me up for your email list without my permission you do not deserve to have access to the internet and should in fact burn in hell
Anyone who says they can tell the difference between Monday, Asana, Miro, Notion, Trello, ClickUp, and Airtable is either a cult member or a shareholder
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Notes by b3bea775 | export