Your regular reminder that The Lorax is about environmentalism, not a cute orange creature and it was published 50 fucking years ago. We knew what we were doing.
“2024” enters stage left. He is disheveled, with wild hair and a crumpled shirt.
chorus: ‘HEAR YE, BEHOLD THE YEAR THAT COMES, A MAJESTIC CLUSTERFUCK, LOUDER THAN THE GODS, MORE CONFUSING THAN ANY PROPHECY.’
He trips on his toga, spilling scrolls and fast food receipts everywhere.
The modern workflow is Google Docs -> Slack -> Notion -> Monday -> Trello -> Asana -> Airtable -> Figma -> Canva -> Miro -> Notion again -> back to Google Docs for draft 9000 no one has launched a single thing in 7 years
I’m old enough to remember when being a fan meant actually liking stuff, not dedicating your entire existence to tearing it apart piece by piece. Like, imagine enjoying Star Wars in 2024 without a 7-part thread on why the sequel trilogy personally offended you. Wild times.
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JD Vance: “im a hillbilly”. Tim Walz: “im a nice boy”. the audience, howling and frothing: “let them fight”. secret service struggling to hold back the mob
☭ ☭ ☭ ATTENTION COMRADES ☭ ☭ ☭
wokeness will be EQUALLY DISTRIBUTED
please form an orderly queueb to receive your government-mandated CRITICAL RACE THEORY
violators will be sent to PRONOUN GULAG
me mate dazza just rocked up to smoko 45 mins late with a mad shiner & two iced coffees. said he slept in cos his mrs chucked a wobbly and yeeted his phone out the window. fucken legend
“I have been BASELESSLY accused of being a serial abuser and harasser of women. To prove my innocence I have hired the same lawyer as several other serial abusers and harassers. Did I mention I have found Jesus.”
In Australia, if you say ‘third wave feminism’ into a mirror three times at midnight, Mia Freedman appears starts a podcast and is immediately forced to apologise
zuckerberg, high on bbq sauce fumes: “ship the app now”
devs: “it’s 2am and the app is just your face plastered over the entire screen”
zuck: “yes…yes. it’s perfect”
devs: weeping
1997: by 2023 we’ll have flying cars
2024: “are interdimensional child-eating vampires turning the planets gay?” i ask, my brain smoothened to perfection by internet brainworms
If you’re against AI compensating creators, you’re against ads, and you’re against paywalls, you’re basically demanding free labor. Quality content isn’t a charity—if you’re too fucking cheap to fucking pay for it, maybe you don’t fucking deserve it.
congratulations to Elon Musk for reducing twitters value from $44b to $50 and a coupon for one (1) free hug, redeemable from the corner perv at any Arby’s parking lot
I’m going to start replying to everything like I’m on Hacker News. Unhappy with Congress? Why don’t you just start a new country and write a constitution and secede? It’s not that hard once you know how. Actually, I wrote a microstate in a weekend using Rust.
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in the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: dudes who explain Bitcoin to women at parties, and dudes who reply ‘source?’ to obvious jokes on the internet. these are their stories.
(me, bursting into a history lecture) THE MOON LANDING WAS FAKED BY ABRAHAM LINCOLN
professor: ma’am this is a class on ancient mesopotamia
me: PRONOUNS
Oddbean new post about login | logout
Notes by b3bea775 | export