@eaa8ecee I had a cat that did that before drinking from the bowl. 

 @387e9d42 It's a Vegan quiche! No yolk!  @9ccf7b7d 

 @9ccf7b7d I'm here all week. Try the quiche! 

 @db638d31 Aha! SIAMESE kittens! (No, dud, you mean "Conjoined", you racist bellend!!). #HowTorRuinYourOwnPun 

 @d6c50095 "A gentleman is someone that knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't!"

https://media.mas.to/masto-public/media_attachments/files/111/143/391/896/218/138/original/51d4f63c43a5af1f.jpg 

 @9ccf7b7d That and Pastis are a bugger for helping you lose a month! 

 @9ccf7b7d Have you made a living will, just in case? 🙃 

 @f884fa2b 
Oh yeah, but it's the idea the English can't cook. It's a stereotype that's true. 😎  @af82bac8 

 @f884fa2b 
In the UK most incidents are places catching fire because of the hacked electrical wiring in Weed Grow Houses. Here's a small anecdote. a comedian who had recently returned from New Zealand said while there she'd spoken to someone about how Meth isn't as big a problem in the UK as it is elsewhere. The Kiwi response was "Yeah, that's because it involves COOKING!". Is our culinary barbarism THAT bad?! #EnglishProblems  @af82bac8 

 @f884fa2b 
It's a long and complicated story, but basically I was trying to help someone get off heroin. The local "Privatised" place says "Oh, OK. Come in next week!", meaning no methadone to try and help for at least 10 days, so they had to go to a street dealer in the meantime. I went with them as backup, and when we arrived the dealer (short, white, runty) looked at me and my jack russell and said "'Oo dis guy? Iz 'ee a pleeceman?" like he's from Brixton or something!  @af82bac8 

 @f884fa2b 
Funny. Most drug dealers I've met are white! But then, England is different. @af82bac8 

 @9ccf7b7d Hmm. That's no yolk!