Powerful article - I am so
sorry to hear about your loss 

I’m a second generation of this same tragedy, I only found out it happened to my dad in my twenties, I never knew my grandfather, I have since analyzed my dad through this lens. How this affected him as a 19year old. My heart breaks for him when I am forced to think about it. 

But i witnessed someone searching. 
A combination of burying it deep down and Serving his community, finding brotherhood in his local groups (firemen, masons , etc). I think this is him finding his purpose. 

He is of the generation who is a bit distant with their kids, yet always pleasant , just not as engaged as fathers today. But he is always there when I need him.  Just will never speak of it- so it leaves me to study him and try to understand on my own not knowing how I can help in anyway. 

Now that I’m older, I just try to keep him happy, acknowledge what he has accomplished and see past childhood distance and caulk it up to all he has been through. 

I just share this to say that as you absorb this, know u r not alone. Also how u choose to handle this is important. For yourself and those around u. I know it took a lot to share this news and I hope the sincerity and humility comes through as that is what I am trying to convey to try and help. 

However hard it was, thank you for sharing. This community is more than NGU and if we can only be there for each other in good times and not bad- what kind of community do we have?  

Keep writing, keep sharing, I’m sure the article spoke to more people than you know. 

Sincerely 
Mike