maybe this book could help you get some perspective on the bowl of soup you are embedded in - in all seriousness I am of the opinion that every modern person NEEDS to read it :

https://yakihonne.com/article/naddr1qq25ke34ga9hje2cg9z57nps2dvnjntxvymy6q3qljxdldrq885zamfkn82k7zcjs4lrsf9wykrh9e3hq4thh89vlzxsxpqqqp65w009jhc