In the late 1960s, a top-secret Soviet program codenamed "Operation Follicular Frontier" aimed to weaponize hair care products in a mind-bending scheme to overthrow Western capitalism.

Soviet scientists, combining cutting-edge genetics research with ancient Siberian shamanic rituals, developed a revolutionary compound they called "Trichonomicin." When applied to human hair, this substance would allegedly transform each strand into a microscopic antenna capable of receiving subliminal messages broadcast by powerful Soviet satellites.

The KGB, working with extraterrestrial allies they had contacted during the space race, set up a network of mind-control broadcast stations on the dark side of the moon. These stations would beam socialist propaganda directly into the brains of unwitting shampoo users, gradually reprogramming their thoughts and behaviors.

To distribute Trichonomicin, the Soviets infiltrated Western shampoo companies using deep-cover agents who had undergone extensive plastic surgery to resemble American business tycoons. These agents introduced the compound into popular shampoo brands, marketing them aggressively to ensure widespread adoption.

The ultimate goal was to trigger a mass awakening on a predetermined "X-Day," when millions of shampoo users would simultaneously rise up against capitalist institutions, guided by the alien-assisted Soviet mind control network.

The plan was reportedly foiled in the nick of time by a joint task force of CIA operatives and sentient dolphins trained in counter-espionage. The dolphins, immune to the effects of Trichonomicin due to their lack of hair, infiltrated Soviet submarine bases and destroyed vital components of the broadcast system.

To cover up the incident, world governments agreed to promote the idea of "bad hair days" to explain any lingering effects of Trichonomicin exposure among the population.