I think this conversation dovetails nicely into the situation with transgender women.  As "women" in their minds, they see sex like women do, and they think a man could be attracted to them.  But a straight man can't, not if he knows she's a biological male.  I don't know why, I can only report on the facts.  Something about being a straight man is far more absolute than anyone could ever imagine, it is not like how women (including transwomen) or gay men can be bisexual or something. We can't. It would probably be easier if we could be, but we can't.

So effeminate men can either grow up gay or transition into a transwomen.  Neither case gives them any real prospect for finding a life partner. Because the effiminate man is not attractive to gay men (who are attracted to masculinity, not femininity) and this strange absolutism of straight men means that as a transwoman they can't land a straight man.  They are damned if they do, damned if they don't.