If you parents showed you "love" by fucking you & gaslighting you, then you'd either have to face the tremendously painful fact that you were never really loved by the broken animals that birthed you, or you repeat the abuse because that destructive shit is love in your mind & you can't let it be anything else. They are all super fucked up & always running from reality in some form or fashion. Their lives were so chaotic that a lack of chaos feels completely alien & wrong. So they go through life fucking with all the people around them to feel more at home.