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 My son is a very good coder, but a total absent minded professor in real life. 
 Might be on the spectrum...just sayin' 😉 
 Definitely has some traits, but he is way more social and way more compassionate than a normal person on the spectrum. 
 Obviously no one knows your kid as well as you do - so take it with a grain of salt coming from some random internet person who has never met you or your kid. 😉
But I wouldn't rule it out based on those criteria.
My kid is actually quite sociable, very compassionate, and most definitely Aspie! 
I've also worked with a lot of kids (in a professional capacity) who fit that bill.
And they were all absolutely wonderful and very quirky kids.
Though they might test your compassion at times...as in 'left the oven on then left the house for the day'... 🙃 
 It wouldn't surprise me if he was aspie.  I just don't worry about categorization.  He functions well, so I don't worry about him.

His only issues are taking everything 100% literally (You have to be careful what you tell him to do because he will process the command in the same way a computer would.) and he relates all things in life to advanced math, so he really confuses non-tech people, although everyone likes and respects him. 
 You sound like a great mom ❤️ 
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 You are definitely on the douchebag spectrum.