I think that was the issue thank you. Specifically though I think I just wasn't getting on with the relay settings in Primal on desktop. Using other clients like Amethyst on Android or noStrudel on desktop makes it much clearer what the relays are used for and whether they're all working properly. 

 Primal seems to do it's own thing. Amethyst with a paid nostr.wine relay works very well though.  

 Don't know about Primal. Stopped using it right after the shadow ban incident(s).  

 What were the shadow ban incidents? I hadn't heard about that. Thanks 

 Some time last year Primal shadow banned people manually. Their trending thing is rigged as well and there is other things that have happened behind the scenes (like something linked to BTC Prague) that make me not wanting to use that client.