It's ok, take your time, we'll welcome you to Linux, inevitably 😏
That is the spirit. What distribution will it be. I use Debian and sometimes Ubuntu. Have use Gentoo, Arch, Suse and some others in the past too.
It depends. I think most people jump around distributions (commonly known as distro-hopping) because there's this big misunderstanding that distributions != Desktop Environments. Personally I settled many years ago with Arch - Easy, unbloated install. I install different Desktop Environments when I want to try something different. There's also now the misconception that Debian-based = stable and Arch-based = unstable, which was true for a time but is no longer true - Bleeding-edge on Arch often means any rare bugs that come up get fixed in a matter of hours. I run Arch for literally everything at this point (servers, desktops) and it just works.
Have to look into Arch again. Install is still not user friendly in my opinion, so some knowledge is needed.
You have two options, and they're both easy I would say. 1) Download the arch iso, boot up, run archinstall, select guided install, under extra packages choose the desktop environment you want and you're done. 2) There are Arch-based distributions. One such distro is EndeavourOS.
I switched from linux to mac, like any person with a little self-respect
There was a time i thought that way and made the switch, but from windows to mac. That might have been an ok choice at that time. Now, here I am back on linux where it mostly all began. Couldn't be happier in this regard. When something doesn't work, which seldomly happens, I have at least a chance to fix it. If there is a hardware issues, I go to the next (online)-store and buy a replacement part at a reasonable price and don't have to send the device in and wait for a week or two or three.
Unfortunate, given whatever wasn't working for you on Linux would be solvable, and you'd retain all its inherent benefits.