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 It says one has to provide name, address, e-mail, phone number, be a citizen & resident of certain countries... and maybe more if something triggers their verification system.

No, thank you. 
 Our prepaid Visa cards are still available in that case and they require almost none of what you mentioned.

There are no perfect solutions, only trade-offs. These cards offer greater reliability and more country/currency support than our Visa cards, but to offer those improvements they require additional verification steps.

If they don't fit your use case, then we understand completely. 
 I don't blame TBC, to be clear. They may help some people. The Visa card didn't charge me for forex conversion, even though the documents say it does. And visa has $750 limit vs. the $500 for the MC. So I don't see any advantages for the MC, only drawbacks.

Just find it funny that the card issuers are such hypercompliant losers that they are afraid of people "laundering" money and committing financial "crimes" with $50 cards.

To other readers: this is the danger of "bitcoin" Visa cards: they may turn on KYC at any moment and leave you stranded. Use them if you must, but be aware of the dangers. Let's use bitcoin as intended: P2P, without intermediaries. 
 By the way, when will the .apk file for the app be available? Yesterday, the new app version was on the Play store, but the apk was still the previous version.