nostr:npub16uk4yyw47haxwl0klhh7lcx3qatkyqmpc6gc4hwru3qedaeuueeqqkpv7k 
For the very reasons you highlight, I’ve recently been making steps along the self hosting route, and its really hard work. I too have tried NextCloud, which appeared to provide a comprehensive solution to many of the services that I wanted to “liberate”, however the basic out-of-the-box experience is quite restricted and without the extensive time & knowledge necessary I failed to configure a complete and secure system so I had to abandon the project.