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 How secure is self hosted email? As I understand it's not very secure and easy to hack. So we either get scammers hacking my emails or big brother seeing all my email. 

I think it's a bs... I'm sick of the internet. Can I go back to 1985 when Marlboros were less $1 a pack and all I cared about was getting laid and driving fast cars.  
 ALL email is insecure for an international state level actor (such as the federal US government) to hack, and this includes proton.  This being said, self-hosted is much stronger resistance than services like proton, because proton can much more easily access the data and has a history of doing so for thousands of people.  You would find this article very useful:
https://simplifiedprivacy.com/email-basics/

We can’t go back to 1985.  But you can still get laid and drive fast cars because of all the extra time you’ll be saving by having us setup your email for you. =) 
 Thanks I mostly get it... But I've always had a heck of a time with my domain email service through my vps. Secondly, you help me set up whatever email / domain, then it's not much private any longer? All this shit makes my head spin. 

 
 Well, we set it up, and then hand over the SSH keys, admin passwords, and VPS credentials to you.  So you're in charge of your VPS and it's all open source software.  And it's not just email, but also cloud team docs Cryptpad and XMPP/SimpleX chat.  So you get the most of your 1 CPU VPS.

As a 2nd option, we offer guided "hands off" setups.  Where we don't have access and we tech support guide you through it via audio or text.