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 Not sure if I understand the graph approach. Do you mean somethingike a "Markov Chain" where redundancy leads to a lower probably of failure? 

Yes the metrics are an issue. If someone claims that nostr is a decentralized identity layer, I would strongly agree because it gives anyone with entropy an identity. However, I might disagree with claims that it's a decentralized transport layer because we rely heavily on ICANN and IANA to exchange notes. 
 long answer: 

Complexity: A Guided Tour - Book by Melanie Mitchell

short answer - look up scale free networks

micro answer - yes, one of the properties of decentralization is how it reacts to failure. 

Nostr is not a transport layer, for example I'm working on using Nostr over Reticulum/ LoRA which is a different transport layer yet using the same Nostr protocol. I believe a good question about Nostr decentralization is not about decentralization of TCP/IP, even though it inherits its properties if you use it through this protocol. 

The good question is how resilient the network is against attacks on relays, but you always need to have a dynamic look at things - what will the network do after the attack is as good of a question as what happens immediately after a successful attack. 
 Glad to hear that your working on LoRa for nostr. After struggling to add value to nutband I shifted my attention to OpenWRT and WiFi captive portals that accept Bitcoin. 

I think nostr relays are the perfect glue for various transport solutoons interfaces like LoRa, TCP/IP or ham radio. 
 RFC 1925, 6(a): It is always possible to add another level of indirection.

https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc1925