Jack, I just crave attention! Please please, I know you are busy, but please please, pretty please, just reply to me!! A simple "Yo" from you would make my day and give my life meaning (well, if not "meaning", at least I would smile).

"Check mate king two, this is white rook." 

 Hello self, it's "Check mate TO king two, this is White rook" (from Independence Day).