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 relays need to be slightly smarter, at a minimum be able to sort notes when you query them imo! 
 Why can't you do it? 
 isn’t that just more computationally demanding for everyone. now i’m just spamming relays with many very-specific queries 
 You don't need to constantly spam relays if you keep a good local performant cache index which is what is missing in most clients. 
 From what I understand of Nostr and apps in general (which is not a lot) and from what I see connecting through Tor, I think this makes sense:

nostr:nevent1qqst5qe2ff477l9lu4ms6xkyxurg7qkye5m7wdudnddhl8jhl3pd5tgpzpmhxue69uhkummnw3ezuamfdejsygxsm6lelvfda7qlg0tud9pfhduysy4vrexj65azqtdk4tr75j6xdspsgqqqqqqslsu9zc

Maybe we just aren't there yet in Nostr development, the point at which you can and should develop a good local cache 
 oh wait i misread this 
 I can't make a query such as pull all sommsffeld notes and order them by zaps, I can only query 500 of your notes basically at random and get no associated notes (ie other events that react to your notes) - it's too dumb 
 True