Yea... This is really the big downside of lightening... It is so hard to find a wallet you can trust, then when you are happy with one - it either shuts down for some reason or implements a paywall.
It is not feasible for a regular person to host their own. My spouse and I tried. Having an extra device can be expensive and time consuming. And once we did get one - half the time it was down for some reason, the other half there was some error we couldn't decypher... And there was always "dust" leftover from an open channel where funds have run low and become unusable. It really adds up. Ugh.