Oddbean

As an analytical person and former psychologist, I’ve always been fascinated by studying human behavior—especially in the digital age. The idea of sharing one’s life online is an entirely new phenomenon, unique to this century. While reading “Hatching Twitter” (though I’m not convinced we’re getting the real version of that story), one of the early chapters mentions that no one would feel comfortable sharing their life online. Today, that thought seems almost bizarre when you consider how nearly everyone is doing just that. However, I’m left questioning how beneficial this has been for humanity as a whole. I find myself comparing this to the invention of electricity, which fills me with awe and a sense of advancement. But when it comes to the tech revolution and its effects on the human mind, I have my doubts. The original intention of social media was to make people feel more connected and less alone, but paradoxically, it feels like people are more isolated than ever before. Last year, I took a significant step back from social media. I shut down my online business, deleted all social media apps from my phone, and @Svetski can vouch for this—each time he showed me something from one of those apps, I felt disgusted with what the world had become. During that time, I felt truly free, as if I had finally taken off a mask. However, I also noticed an odd side effect: I felt disconnected from the world. I wasn’t updated on what my friends were doing, and I missed that sense of social interaction, even if it was superficial. One of the most intriguing aspects of social media is how followers, likes, and engagement seem to dictate people’s sense of worth and relationships. People can become genuinely offended if someone they know unfollows them, to the point where they may not want to maintain an in-person relationship anymore. It’s as if the virtual world is dictating real-life connections: “Oh, you unfollowed me? I guess we can’t be friends in real life.” It’s a strange, almost absurd shift in human interaction. Another bizarre aspect of social media is the idea that people who don’t resonate with you—or even dislike you—can still follow your life closely. They can see what you think, feel, and do daily. Ex-lovers and people from your past are just one click away from finding out what you’re up to nowadays. This level of access to personal information still feels surreal to me. How much information we handle and share without second thoughts is, frankly, unsettling. In the end, while social media has undoubtedly changed the way we connect, it raises the question: has it truly improved our lives, or are we more isolated, less authentic, and increasingly detached from genuine human connection? #FoodForThought #AskNostr Btw, GM Fam🌹

In my experience the short term titillation of somebody “liking “ your post or engaging online is outweighed by the cavernous sense of isolation I feel interacting this way. Nostr is the only social media I have now but I have felt more isolated and alone then I’ve ever felt before I engaged with social media. I’m old enough to remember life without it and I agree with you that it hasn’t been positive for the human race. Or if it has the positive has been dwarfed by the negative IMO. Definitely a double edged sword.

I completely relate to what you're saying. That quick hit of validation from a like or comment fades so fast, and the isolation it leaves behind can feel so deep. It's like we’re more "connected" than ever but somehow more alone too. Social media can definitely be a double-edged sword, and while it’s had some positive moments, the negatives often seem to overpower them. I think finding a balance or even taking breaks is key, but it’s tough when it’s become such a big part of life now.

My wife and I have raised our girls media free but they are in 8th grade now and will start to be introduced to technology as a tool. They have never been on social media. I wanted them to know a life that was not “addicted” to technology. I wonder if it will be an asset to them or a liability in the future when they are surrounded by people who have all grown up and influenced /“indoctrinated” by social media and media in general. I just wanted them to know the difference and be able to be more aware of how it makes them feel vs. someone who has never known any other life other than being on a device and receiving constant input that leaves little to no room for wondering or pondering about something unknown. I heard a speaker at a Bioneers conference say “We are bloated on information yet starving for knowledge”. Truer words have never been spoken IMO.

That’s incredible that you’ve been able to raise your girls media-free up until now. I think giving them that experience of life without the constant buzz of technology will definitely be an asset, especially as they enter a world where almost everyone is so deeply immersed in it. They’ll likely have a different level of awareness and ability to disconnect when needed, which is a rare skill these days. It’s true what you said about being “bloated on information but starving for knowledge”—so much of what we consume now is surface-level, designed to keep us scrolling rather than truly learning or thinking deeply. Your daughters might have a much clearer understanding of how to process all the input they’ll inevitably face, and hopefully, they’ll navigate it with a bit more intentionality than those who’ve never known a world without constant digital input. It sounds like you’ve given them a strong foundation.

I can definitely identify with everything you’re saying here. I put it down to growing up in the 80s and 90s when social media wasn’t even a thing. I wonder if this is even an issue for younger generations who are born into social media as we know it today? Just a thought. GM 😊

I totally get what you mean. Growing up without social media definitely gives us a different perspective. Sometimes I wonder the same thing—whether younger generations, who’ve always had social media, feel the same disconnect or if it’s just second nature to them. Maybe what feels overwhelming to us is just normal for them. It's an interesting shift to think about!

Yes, a very interesting shift to think about whilst also living it at the same time. In that sense we are privileged to have gone/going through both experiences. I guess our parents could say the same when comparing certain aspects of their lives to ours, and our kids will do the same with their kids, and so on…the ever evolving circle of life ♾️😁

60 years ago the only way was to read propagandist newspapers and TV news, the only social was getting in your car and going to social places like church events, private clubs like moose, vfw, etc and of course the best place for social, bars... I remember bars being on every corner as a kid. People that are "unplugged socially" I believe have a mental illness, so since you have deleted all you apps, hopefully you've spent more time in church, civic clubs and social bars (not dance clubs) otherwise if you're sitting home with your cats, we'll I feel for you. Best of luck.

I appreciate your concern, but I believe social engagement can take many forms. Whether it's through community, personal connections, or simply finding peace in solitude, everyone has their own path to fulfillment. I’ve taken time offline to reconnect with what’s important to me, but I’m back online now, balancing both worlds in a way that works for me.

Read recently that Gen z'ers are actually AFRAID to speak on the phone--a real phobia. And it's crippling them as they transition to the business world... How is it that people are actually afraid to talk to others? What a crime...and social media / technology / phones are to blame... Not sure how we solve this either....

It's wild, right? I’ve read about that too—how a whole generation is developing anxiety around something as simple as a phone call. Social media and messaging apps have made it so easy to hide behind screens that real-time conversation feels foreign. It’s tough to say how we fix it, but maybe encouraging more face-to-face interactions, or even something as simple as practicing phone calls in casual settings, could help bridge that gap. It’s definitely something we’ll have to figure out, especially with how fast the business world still relies on real communication.

I completely agree that it's astonishing how much people share about their personal lives online. I've noticed that whenever I take a break from social media, it's as if I've fallen off the face of the earth, friends seem to forget about me altogether. I also feel the same way when I don't participate, it's like I'm being left out. It's like you can only be friends now if you're actual friends online. Digital friendship has almost overtaken personal, real friendship, and now I can understand why everyone feels so lonely. Before, if you wanted to see how a friend was doing, you would have to go see them or call them. Now people can feel like they know what's going on with you with zero interaction because they can see your posts. I post less now, but there was a time when I posted a lot. I've deleted everything basically now, besides X and Nostr. It was eye-opening when I would talk to someone who I hadn't talked to in a long time and they could bring up so much stuff about me that we never personally spoke about to them. Also, it's becoming increasingly dangerous to post too much identifiable information. A lot of attacks and robberies are being planned based on information someone posts on their social media. It's crazy how people tie their self-worth to online validation, likes, comments, and followers have become the ultimate measure of popularity. This creates a lot of anxiety and stress associated to social media use. Even on Instagram, people are ditching traditional posts for stories, likely because there is less pressure to get likes and comments. Social media has changed a lot. It's definitely ingrained into society now. One of the biggest dangers is that the algorithm has the ability to shape minds all over the world. They can make you perceive whatever they want. Social media I think, can be a good or bad thing based on how you use it. You can scroll your feed chronologically on X, think for yourself, or fall into the "For You" page and be told how to think. The danger is that they are all run by big corporations that have done everything they can to make it as addictive as possible, so it's actually become a net negative for most people. They are also not in the business of making you happier or smarter, so they will push whatever governments or corporations tell them to. Maybe Nostr fixes this.

I completely agree with everything you’ve said. It’s wild how digital friendships now feel more "real" than actual in-person ones. You can go months without directly talking to someone, yet they think they know exactly what’s going on in your life because of your posts. That’s why I think the connection feels so empty—there’s no real interaction, just surface-level updates. The shift towards stories and less permanent posts, like you mentioned, really highlights how much pressure people feel. It’s like everyone’s chasing validation, but at the same time, trying to avoid the stress that comes with it. And yes, the algorithm playing such a huge role in shaping opinions and pushing content is terrifying. It’s a double-edged sword, for sure. Nostr feels like a breath of fresh air in that regard, but we’ll see how it evolves. Social media as it is now has changed so much, and I don’t think we’re even close to seeing the full impact.

I'd say this is one of the best post I have seen since the beginning of the week. If I am to put my pence to this note. I'd say, social media is like a "swiss knife". It is sharp to a professional users, to a kid, it is very dangerous. This is how I see every innovation. It has so much potential to drive change. But what that change is depends on the user. Social media taught us so many things; from dopamine (likes, following ans validation), genuine connection that led to marriage, distraction - short attention span, critical thinking laziness, fake personas, etc. However, the most difficult change that social media taught us is it is threatening the foundation of freedom of expression, mass control through algorithm and ads and monopoly of narrative and information/data. Yes, a lot of people do not have boundaries; oversharing or vulnerability boundaries. But as a result of this technology, we are in a verge of being silence. Social media also highlight whether the people we put to power truly represent our vision of freedom or not. #foodforthought ❤️👌

I love your Swiss knife analogy—it’s spot on. Social media can be super powerful but also risky, depending on who's using it. You’re right about the dopamine hits, short attention spans, and fake personas being issues, but the most dangerous part is how algorithms are controlling what we see and say. It’s like we’re being silenced without even realizing it. Oversharing is a problem too, and people forget how to set boundaries. Social media definitely exposes whether our leaders align with the vision of freedom or not.

The sad part is, it will only get worse if we all allow this trajectory we are in. The great part is we are here on #nostr. It is a beginning to shift the direction of travel. I have seen and interacted with so many people on here working towards the same goal fighting for the same beliefs, "freedom". All we can do now is to continue to spread awareness and to try our utmost to lead by example. I am grateful to meet you on here. I hope to see more of you and your notes. 👌❤️

So well put… and what I can add to that is… after your data is harvested, if any industry has identified you as a valuable individual, they’ll weaponize that data against you at the most surreal level ever. we don’t realize what we’ve given up until we can’t take it back.

very well put. what you say is true. if we just want to feel more connected to our friends, all we need is a handful of group chats with various friend and family circles. Signal can do that just fine. Social media seems to have a different role in our civilisation's tech stack - and it turns out, that role seems to be the spreading of propaganda and disinformation by powerful actors. Maybe - if we manage to free social media from centralised mega corps (Nostr being our best bet), the TRUE potential of social media can emerge. I don't think it is about "feeling more connected" at all. It seems to be just an efficient crowd sourced mechanism of spreading information far and wide. We need private chats for "feeling connected". We need self-hosted blogs for long form thought. We need forums and reddit-style media for sharing and discussing useful information (ie those long form blogs). We need social media to share "BREAKING NEWS" and all other noteworthy long form content (ie blog posts or relevant reddit-style discussions). The problems we need to solve is: - how do we stop people from self-censoring in reddit-style discussions out of fear of getting downvoted, moderated or even banned if one posts something that goes against the narrative - how do we stop bad actors from spreading a tsunami of fake news and misinformation on social media - how do we stop "gathering likes and followers" from being an incentive on social media - that just turns everyone into a narcissist.