I get that. I've gotten wind of some crazy stuff, from both sexes, the last few months, so my divorce-outrage-faucet has run completely dry. People seem so normal for decades and then... Ugh. No, you didn't.
I feel like when it comes to others you don’t really know the truth of their relationships. You only know who that person is to you. I have an ex who was a great friend and absolutely toxic as a boyfriend.
The interaction between two people can lead to very different behaviors. People also behave very differently depending on their environment