Oddbean

I can't speak for anyone else. But I was a bit of a tormented mess. It kept growing worse and worse. I turned to alcohol, I turned to distraction - only to keep getting worse. It was because although I might have been close, I wasn't quite exactly where I needed to be in terms of knowing myself. Who I am. I know exactly who I am after these past 4 years. A ruthless wolf, who doesn't mind walking alone, and can preserve and covet that. Want to know how I arrived fully, completely at myself? Watching everyone else separate themselves from logic and alienate me for not following suit. Breaking the shackles of relationships which meant a lot to me really drove that home. I can be a lone wolf if that's the only route. That type of confidence exudes an aura. I notice people looking at me differently as I walk down the streets these days. It's not confirmation bias either. I'm not the only one that has noticed. This doesn't necessarily get to the meat of the question, which is difficult in text. These typecof discussions are best held in real time, body language and spirit is important. Those in tune with it can latch on and help out thoughts that are struggling to be articulated but are JUST on the cusp if ya know what I mean? Basically, it does stem from knowing who you are fully. Completely. And not the prescribed construction of who you are. Those people can be picked apart easily. I'm in an invincible state because I have detached myself from society. It's hierarchy is rigged. I'm aware of that and it doesn't frighten me. I know all the players in that game are my subordinate on a human level, no matter what the title on their office door says they are.