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 First, have you met old people? Second, you're telling me to go with stock Android, but not trust #Mullvad or #GrapheneOS? The idea is to reduce complexity and increase privacy/security for an elderly person who has zero understanding of any of this tech.

@final [GrapheneOS] 📱👁️‍🗨️ what are the implications of not getting updates to default apps, etc.? This seems like terrible advice, but it's clearly being passed around. Also, doesn't DivestOS get some patches from GrapheneOS? 

While I'm on a roll, I think DivestOS also forces updates of their apps through F-Droid, which is one reason I didn't mess with it. @Ava curious about your thoughts as well.  
 If you are a man who has no time to tweak custom rom just use stock Android on Pixel or Iphone.

There are no benefits for you with using GrapheneOS and Mullvand. You will be like a beacon nothing more.

Just use IPhone or Pixel with stock Android.

I've never said not to update GrapheneOS or apps. I said DO NOT use their Apps app-disable it. Disable all connections to GrapheneOS. 
 1. Turning off Apps app / autoupdates for apps like Vanadium means you won't get updates for apps when available, only through OS upgrades. When it comes to setups involving Sandboxed Google Play and GmsCompatConfig this can cause app compatibility issues. Had history of people reporting apps breaking, just to find out it was because they didn't update them or the OS for months. We don't recommend disabling them at all unless you know what you're doing. 

2. DivestOS uses a partial share of GrapheneOS hardening. GrapheneOS defends the DivestOS project as well. The developer had also helped produce patches for some of our apps in the past. DivestOS' developer recommends GrapheneOS above his own OS. Some builds have less hardening due to device specifications.

See a more full comparison at: https://eylenburg.github.io/android_comparison.htm

3. I can't suggest a VPN provider for you. That's up to you to pick one to trust.

4. DivestOS upgrades apps via F-Droid with their own hosted repository while we use our own via Apps app. 
 Thanks for the info. Educational, as usual. I'm glad we can go straight to the source on these things.  
 DivestOS has own instace of F-Droid  and they have .onion address to use it via F-Droid app.
They have 3 mirrors within Tor (onion addresses).

If you have no time to customise GrapheneOS or other custom rom just don't use it.

It' safer for your personal data to use Iphone (consider lockdown mode) or Pixel with stock Android.