I feel similarly, which is why I live on the outskirts of one of New Zealand’s secondary cities. 

Christchurch is not a hub for anything, but there is enough of the conveniences of a big city along with the excitement, social and cultural aspects, without ever really feeling claustrophobic. Even though it has population of 350,000, the feel is much more like a large town than a city. And there is this sense of interpersonal harmony as a result. 

I went to college in the US and would spend summer holidays in NYC. The thing that stood out to me the most was the palpable tension in the air. You could feel the distrust and hostility people had for one another, and saw it displayed in a myriad of ways (constant honking, cutting people off in traffic, yelling obscenities, not making eye contact, not moving to the side to pass one another on the sidewalk, throwing trash on the street…). The level of inconsiderateness was staggering, as was the seeming lack of personal responsibility. 

Just being in NYC for several weeks, I could feel it beginning to impact my psychology. Perhaps there is something about living like caged rodents in such a densely populated area that warps us and makes us more callous as humans…