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 Will this be much different on Nostr tho?   Won't everyone on Nostr just go where the biggest relay (or biggest/best client-with-own-relay) is.  Already most people connect to the same 3 well known relays. 
 Of course not, you don't understand Nostr. Read about the gossip model. 
 Yes, this (and maybe other heuristics and approaches to content discovery clients are free to experiment with) is ultimately what makes Nostr work. 
 OK do you have link where i can find  more info on this?   From what I understand no client supports this yet.  And each client will also still restrict which relays can be accessed because of filters (necessary becayse you don't want your client accessing any old relay in the background).  Every major relay will end up following the same spam/rules/filters , and others will be ignored.  I don't see how the gossip method will work without filling peoples clients with spam or unwanted content/connections.  What am I missing?