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 Is there a nostr client that optimizes UX around setting up the outbox model relays? 

Suggesting good relays to pick etc.  
 Amethyst suggests some 
 For the legacy mode yes, but not for the outbox model...  
 It's really hard to recommend anything. It's like recommending a house. It's really up to the user to develop a relationship with the relay operator and build the trust that is needed to add the relay to their list.

Amethyst recommends a few, but it's a very centralizing action... everyone will just accept our recommendations... which is BAD. 

I don't really know how to solve this. 
 How about showing those relays that the users followers recommend / use? 

And not just for the general relays, but for each of the categories.  
 That will just centralize in the same large relays we have today as well. 

Also, the Outbox and Inbox relays should not be based on what your follows like. We can present a list to make it easier to type, but it's not about them. 

It's about where you do you want to store your own notes. 

In the extreme, each user should have their own personal relay in both Outbox and Inbox options.  
 True... 
It's just that an empty relay list screen is extremely overwhelming for new users, it's very unclear what should be typed here, and even what relays are available.

Tough problem, I sure don't envy nostr devs 🤣 
 I was thinking on building a marketplace, that helps relays offer services for each type and users can just explore options.

From a list of all available options, we can then filter by WoT and offer some preferences trogether with the limitations of each pitch.  
 Relays based on themes tends to work OK. Coracle is doing that, you find there relays to goof or relays based on themes you want to read/participate. 
 Coracle has a searchable list of relays, sorted by WoT and with reviews/ratings. Very rough, but it's start 
 2 fast, stable, robust ones - can be choosen randomly from a list of fast, stable, robust ones
1 random from the not so fast, not so stable ones

or something similar 
 Hard to measure fast and stable. All relays get slow from time to time, and they all go offline for minutes/hours at a time.  
 Yes, a statistics will be needed but simple average of response times and uptime against the relays can be a pointer. 
 Does it make sense to have an own relay? 
 Setting up in- and outbox relays is unlikely to ever be good UX. 

The more relays start to behave like communitues, the more silly all this will look, and the easier it all is for normies to grasp.

It makes sense for people to have an inbox-solution, using 1 or more relays. 

But who in his right mind targets all of their publications to the exact same relays (i.e. Communities)?